No.

I said this to someone yesterday. They were absolutely taken aback. How DARE I say no? I went back and gave three valid reasons to this person why I wasn’t going to do what they asked me. Not that I needed to explain myself. But I chose to give the rational behind my decision.

The reason they were so shocked is because 4 years ago, I would have said yes.

To be honest, I have said ‘no’ to quite a few different people over the past 6 months. Without worrying what they think. And these are a range of people. Some I know, some I used to know and some I don’t know.

So why am I talking about saying no to people? Basically, because I never used to. I couldn’t say no.  I would always go along with people because I didn’t want to upset people. If I upset people, then they wouldn’t like me. And that was the crux of the matter. I needed to be liked. When you struggle with your self-worth, you have to be liked by people.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not going around being deliberately obtuse saying no to everything and everyone. Not at all. What I am doing is being careful where I give my energy. I am doing things that I want to do. I am not doing things to please people anymore. I am not doing things to be liked by people. I am not saying yes to situations that used to validate me. The amount of work I have done on myself over the past few years is finally starting to pay off. I have finally put in some healthy boundaries around my self-worth. Because, I am actually worth more than I thought I was.