The last 6 months of 2023 saw me go to new depths with healing.

I started a course of EFT or ‘tapping’, in a bid to get to the root of some of my self worth and self esteem issues as I really felt that they were still holding me back.

The very first session I had cleared so much, I was blown away. Little did I know it was going to be like the little boy taking his finger out of the dam!

So many things started to come up out of nowhere, things from my past I thought I’d dealt with. But I obviously hadn’t. Feelings of anger came up out of the blue. Purely because this was an emotion I wasn’t comfortable with feeling.

And then we hit the root of my self esteem/self worth in one session. BAM! And it knocked me for six.

It’s taken me a while to process this. And even Spirit intervened, forcing me to take time out to sit with how uncomfortable I was feeling. I’d normally keep myself busy to distract myself from feeling. But not this time. Illness and physical injury meant I had to sit with it.

Fast forward to just after christmas. I felt well enough to go back to my happy place.  I love sitting and meditating in the steam room at my gym. I’ve had many a profound moment or epiphany in there over the past few years. To then go and swim afterwards is like a cleansing ritual.

I sat in there, alone, and started to meditate. I felt a rush of emotion. Some emotional debris from the months of healing and the realisation of why I struggle so much with New Years Eve.

30 years ago on New Year’s Eve I met the first man I fell in love with.  It was such an amazing evening, and the way we met, was in my opinion, perfect. No New Year’s Eve has ever lived up to that night and that man had my heart for many years. He passed some years ago but we did manage to speak before then.

So, I sat and cried, and tapped, and cried some more and tapped. Before finally taking a deep breath and realising amongst the steam, my head felt clearer than it had in months.

I’m so grateful for everything that’s happened in 2023. Now, I feel ready to focus more on my growth rather than my healing and am excited to see where it takes me.